Indeance

HUMOR Humor – If God Had an answering machine If God had answering machine…..

Answering Machines have becomes an integral part of our daily life, people if not reachable through phone have answering machines enabled which help you to drop in a voice mail.

Imagine this humor where you are praying and you get connected to God: Thank you for calling Heaven. Our options have changed, please listen to them carefully. At any point of call in emergency please dial 9 to reach to the nearest associate.

For English, Press 1.

For Hindi, press 2.

For Malayalam, press 3. For all other languages, press 0.

Please select one of the following

Press 1 for Prayer Requests.

Press 2 to offer Thanksgiving.

Press 3 for Complaints.

Press 4 for all other inquiries. When you press as per your choice…. I am sorry; all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners.

However, your prayer is important to us, and we will answer you shortly. Please stay on the line.

Your estimated time is 2 min:59 seconds

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1.

Jesus, press 2

Holy Spirit, press 3.

If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, press #. You press the number of your choice and #. You hear Psalms 23:1

 To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his or her social security number, followed by the “pound”sign.

If you receive a negative response, please hang up and try extension code (666). For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N, followed by the numbers 316. Our computers show that you have already prayed today. Please hang up. Our office is now closed for the weekend so Please pray again on Monday after 9:30am.If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor. Thank you for calling us, and have a heavenly day.

Faith

 One word countless experience

That’s what world is built on.

Some say it’s a belief

Some say it’s a tolerance

Some say its mere hyperbole

Some say it’s not of this world

It matters on whom you have faith

Who’s the anchor of your ship?

Storms may rise, thunders may rock

But the anchor is what keeps you hooked

Faith is all that makes a difference,

That’s what keeps us hoping for the best

Faith is what keeps a person moving

To the road of success that’s not seen

So all that we could ever do is

Walk in Faith, Talk in Faith

Live in Faith and Work in Faith

For that is what will lead you to destination

Our father in heaven has for us,

Faith is just the power punch

On the face of Satan

Faith is all that you need

To be called the Sons of God!